Chapter for forever

January 4th 2013. I am on cofee # 2. It's snowing outside. It is 9 o'clock in this local diner and the regular crowd is way past the shuffling in. I look like shit and I'm struggling for words to write, just like this region is struggling for youth to work in.

I guess you can say I'm at the pitchfork point in my life where nothing is certain. I have an appartment in Montréal, but I am living with my parents for now because I quit my shitty and senseless banking job two weeks ago. I have not the slightest idea as to what I'm going to do with my life at this point. I have too many choices : 1-Travel to another country with a government funded project; 2- Take another senseless shitty job before I start my carreer as a music educator in september 3- Find another not-so-shitty-or-senseless job in Montreal 4- Keep studying music (pop music, this time) 5-Become Harry Potter and figure out a way to end Voldemort or 6- Become Celine Dion.

I am like a kid with a bad parent trying to stop a disastrous tantrum : What do you want? Milk? Juice? Pop? Coffee? Chocolate milk? Egg nog? Rootbeer? (I'll have wisky, thanks!)

Too many choices.
__________________

Over the holidays, there was a common denominator in all conversations I've had : "So? What's next?".  Being the clever twenty-something year old I am,  I managed to brush off this question by telling people I was taking it day by day until the 2nd of january. I would get the «Good for you!» answer or the " Oh that's great! I wish I could do that!". Ha! So today and the next few entries are dedicated to trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life.

The most ironic part of today is that I am meeting up with a young friend to figure out a career choice for him. The kid's been going to University for 4 months and already has changed carreer choices. I guess having a guidance councelor as a mother can fuck you up when it comes down to figuring out what function you are going to take on in life and society. Poor kid.

***NEWS FLASH***

An eavesdropping hippy looking for inspiration (that would be me) overheard the following sentence said by a man smelling of tobacco eating his eggs and bacon : You're either overweight, or you smoke too much.

...Food for thought.

***NEWS FLASH OVER***

Back to the kid I'm meeting with…I am soooo not the person to help him out with this. All I have to offer as guidance, is a path NOT to take : Mine. While in high school, I decided to study music education as a backup plan. 7 years later, I have my bachelors degree as my plan B, but I still haven't figured out Plan A.

( I can't help but notice how funny it is that people here don't change. Socially or fashionately. Plaid. Everywhere.  A "same shit, different day" expresison painted on everyones faces. And on top of that, people here all sound like they are wearing dentures. Gross.)

I have been in full-on quarter life crisis for the past year or so and not knowing what I want out of life has been sucking the life right out of me. I can't say that I am too sunk in nothingness though. I have a few musical plans. None that will pay rent or anything essential of the kind, but plans that will pay off in creativity. Thank goodness for art and happiness.

And with that, I feel like I have just written the introduction to a novel that I will never finish :) I call it : Chapter for forever

Kid is entering the Café...